Grubsnitch

Dude, fuck the brunch at Diner. 1) You can only get homefries with burgers. 2) Omelettes are bright yellow. wtf? Homefry quality is HIGHLY INCONSISTENT: some were mushy, colorless and bland, while others were nearly deep-fried and well seasoned (although a little salt was necessary. 3) Bloody Marys ($9 after the recent price hike) are frankly missing a certain depth—not enough Worcestershire, I'm guessing. Ridiculous. The food didn't even look attractive, and breakfast food doesn't even have to be that attractive. It's more about quality, which Diner sadly lacks at brunchtime. Another person in our party ordered the Egg Sandwich with Bacon. It was quite good, though nothing I couldn't make (better) at home, and I was offered a bite (yay) and instead of enjoying it, what appeared to be an entire runny yolk shot out of the sandwich and all over my pants. Will it stain? Who knows. Regardless, you simply do not make an egg sandwich with an aggressively soft–cooked egg! And may I add that I also ate dinner there recently, and the specials—we had vodka-artichoke risotto and pork something with some kind of hearty and slightly bitter green (think kale)—were really bland and just gross. We did like the dessert, this banana cake thing with some chocolate sauce and whipped cream. But honestly, how could you fuck that up? I'm beginning to think they're only competent in making burgers (and mayonnaise). Anyway, the quality here has really declined recently and it makes me sad.

Part of the reason why I haven't moved in three years is because I live one block from Diner, and can eat their delicious burgers and steaks whenever I want. This is also why I got fat a couple years ago. the fries are medium-thick and have skin and come with the best homemade mayonnaise ever. i wish they would experiment with it in aioli form. the burger meat itself can be a little bland sometimes, but with all the fixins—cheese, ketchup, mayo, red onion—it's almost perfect (note: sometimes i find the burger meat at dumont (or dumont burger) a bit TOO seasoned).