Grubsnitch

I've said it before and I'm saying it again...NEVER EVER will I darken their door again.  I was having dinner with my wife and a friend.  My friend was late and they didn't want to seat us, even though there were empty tables.  We were finally seated.  Then ignored.  Then stared at and I guess they figured out that they didn't give us water. Water arrived.  No one asked if we wanted a drink while we waited for our friend.  I motioned for a waiter, he came and took our drink order.  After an unusually long wait, the drinks finally arrived from the bar (which was right next to our table).  Our friend showed up and the service did not improve.  We were sitting in the front window (which if I recall is what a restaurant wants so that the passing public will see people eating in the restaurant).  

We order. We wait.  We wait some more. Food arrives and it is good.  It's quite good.  My friend and I shared a steak. My wife had the bream, and it was good too.  We skipped the desert. Asked for the check which arrived post haste.  We left a mountain of cash on the table and left the restaurant.  We were down the block when the maitre'd/owner came running up to us, waving the wad of cash in one hand the check in the other.  He brought another waiter as back up in case my wife got out hand (that's a joke).  We turned to face him; he claimed we didn't leave enough money and proceeded to count out the bills in front of the three us.  He counted the money we left, which amounted to the bill and a 15% tip.  Had I not been so taken a back by this insult, I would have taken back the tip.  Instead, I looked at him, he mumbled an apology and walked back to the restaurant. 

So for the couple of hundred bucks we left my friend, my wife and I were treated awful, served a good meal, then publicly humiliated on 5th Avenue.  If that's your thing, you'll really enjoy Convivium Osteria and their good food and insults.   

I'm a sucker for foods that are both crunchy and soft. That's why I put potato chips in sandwiches and fries in burgers. Anyway, the lamb here was absolutely delicious. The outer layer was perfectly crisp and the rest of it was juicy to perfection. Yummmmm. Thumbs up to the bread and olives as well.

The best restaurant in the neighborhood.  Hands down. 

Yes, it is a little better suited for fall or winter evenings, but they do shift the recipes for winter and summer, so that you won't be totally overwhemed by heaviness.  

As someone below pointed out, its not great for vegetarians, but my vegetarian boyfriend loves it. 

Best dishes:  the meat and cheese platter, the duck ravioli, 

Was highly recommended by a friend with good taste.  Some people love it, and I wouldn't say they're wrong.  What I will say is that on the night I went, I found it to be too expensive, too dark, not at all friendly, and not for those who appreciate fresh, crisp produce or delicate flavors.  The meats are heavy and in-your-face.  The dining room seemed cluttered and self-consciously rustic.  The old places I go to in rural Tuscany are much better lit, more open and airy, and more obviously clean and orderly.  Maybe I could be convinced to try it again if it weren't for places like Al Di La, Sette, and Grocery, none of which is more expensive and all of which are better in every way.

Cozy, with a nice back yard if you find the inside too gloomy. The house wine is always great. I like the octopus appetizer, the chicken livers on toast wrapped in bacon (yum!), and the meat and cheese platter.

Not recommended for vegetarians. The atmosphere should have been romantic, but it was just a touch too dark--made me suspicious about how often they dust those pots hanging from the walls. Not recommended for obsessive-compulsives.